Apartment Inspection - Part II.V

Inspection day at the apartment complex came around again last Friday. It is really more of a regular maintenance routine, but there is usually a suspicious looking assistant manager who accompanies the crew to make certain that I am not running an unapproved meth lab or have not burned down the kitchen without notifying the office in advance. I was fine with the first inspection here because I knew the manager loved cats and I handed her one while the others replaced filters, changed batteries, checked the fire extinguisher, and did the other necessary things.

I got a notice six months ago that I was due for an inspection, but none ever happened. I was therefore not terribly surprised when I got the current notice to see that a single word had been added for this (yearly) inspection. I had cleaned and decluttered a significant amount for the one that didn't happen, so I thought that a good vacuuming, some further decluttering, and closing the door to one room would probably be sufficient. I was not entirely correct. More clutter than I realized had somehow sneaked its way back into the living room and the the kitty cats had blown far more coat than I had kept up with cleaning. I comb it out of their coats as much as they will allow, but cat fur on the carpet is one of those things that I tend not to notice, day to day, as it accumulates in small increments. It is similar in nature to not realizing how much rust grew on the pickup truck over an 18 year period before deciding to trade it in (I donated it to charity instead, and assume that it was flattened and recycled.)

It came as something of a disappointment to find that the vacuum cleaner had closed down some of its services without notice, presumably in an attempt to remain green and be certain that I was getting enough exercise. When I finally got down to what I could use, I found that I had a choice between the crevice tool and an attachment that looks like it might be made to suck change out of a sofa. This left me cleaning every visible carpet and rug in the apartment with an automotive whisk broom made of straw and a dustpan! It really is amazing how much fur can be brushed from even the shortest napped carpet with a stiff brush. I am not permanently damaged (I don't think) but there are six discs in my cervical and lumbo-sacral areas that are less than pleased with me.

I have to say that it does look much better here, especially after taking two huge (small table sized) boxes of clutter to the garbage dumpster or to be recycled. I know that the vacuum sucks powerfully, but I'm going to have to take it apart, clean every piece of it, oil the parts that are supposed to be slithery, and clean or replace the HEPA filter. I am considering a modification of the rotating brush. Possibly cutting off bristles close to anything that is supposed to twist or turn might work. I just didn't have the time (starting as late as I did) to order the parts I needed. The memory of pain fades fairly quickly, so what I also should have done is get a few pictures of myself rolling around on the floor, howling, and holding my back. If I taped one of those to the vacuum, it would serve as a frequent reminder that I really don't want to do this again.

When the team arrived, the apartment looked passable, but I made a concerted effort to keep their attention directed toward what I thought was wrong rather than allow them to come up with anything on their own. "That CO detector needs to be repaired or replaced. It eats a battery in about two days and a green light blinks saying it needs attention." "The refrigerator still isn't working correctly. The freezer only cools to about 30 to 32 degrees." "That drain clogs occasionally when I have done nothing to clog it. It must have a restriction somewhere farther down line." I guess it worked. I'm still here and have not been served with an eviction notice. I doubt that is very likely at this point, anyway. When I moved in, there were no more units available. Now, the parking lot has fewer cars in it and there is a $50 bounty for any resident that recruits a new renter. Then again I may just be trying to convince myself that there is a good side to the economy tanking.

Peace, Doc

Copyright © 2009, Thomas A. Blood, Ph.D.

Technorati Tags: inspection,house cleaning,whisk broom,frustration,fur

Coming To You Live (Writer) From Beautiful St. Charles

I seem to be back after an unintentional absence. Thank you to those who sent a private message or email for your concern. Despite the tone of some of my recent “poetry,” it was my laptop that was self-destructive, not me. At this point comes the decision between the long version or the short version. I’ll choose the short story for now, but don’t be surprised if there are further elaborations in future posts.

Nearly three weeks ago the laptop decided, for no apparent reason, not to boot up past a few of the drivers. I poked, tricked, and swore at everything I could think of, but none of my vast store of computer knowledge, foul language, or behavioral psychology produced a desirable result. A few days later the “Rent-a-Geek” I called did the same, but more thoroughly and knowledgeably. He said he had never seen one do that before, and I believed him because he was also talking about his quintuple boot computer (98SE, XP Pro, Vista, OS7, and Linux) as he ran the diagnostics. Alas, poor Leonard had to go back to “the shop.” I sent Max, his backup pal and sidekick, along to keep him company.

The older (30-something) and wiser owner of the business took over Leonard’s resuscitation and care. He promised to take Leonard out for walks over the weekend so he wouldn’t feel neglected (really – he said that.) After numerous phone calls and about two years later, he called back to tell me the operation had been a success. It really did seem like two years. From that and my withdrawal symptoms, I have concluded that internet addiction is quite real and that I don’t like it. When I received the good news, there was a brief moment of elation and wild celebration and then I did something stupid. This is a normal behavioral pattern for me. I asked if he would install a simple wired network when he returned the laptop. Of course he agreed, and of course I had not anticipated that that it would take another year for the router and cables to be delivered to him. The good news is that I now have a working network. When the network was in, and Leonard was once again in touch with his server and computer buds, I wrote a check for a considerable sum of money and forgot to use my $25 coupon. I was happy anyway. It was only when I found that I could not turn Leonard off that I again became concerned. We’ll leave that topic relatively unexplained other than to state that I have found a distinctly unusual way of shutting the laptop off, involving tricking the Roxio burner suite into believing that I want to use it and then shutting down.

During the haze of the withdrawal period, I became so desperate for an internet fix that I did the unthinkable. I installed Vista on the project computer before it was ready to have the XP Pro installed on another partition or drive. For a refurbished PC, it looked totally unused internally and externally. I installed another 4GB of heat sink finned RAM into the appropriate slots and turned the beast on. It lit up, whirred, and the DVD tray would operate. That’s all. Just the electromechanical stuff. The OS refused to even consider installing itself. After due consideration, I decided to undo my improvements, and re-installed the original RAM. This resulted in a success experience, if one considers the installation of Vista on a perfectly good PC a success. I now have the two computers networked and operating, even though Leonard remains a bit eccentric.

I continue to hate Vista, but will list only three reasons that irked me the most during my initial skirmishes with it. 1.) It questions everything I want it to do to the point that I forget what it was that I wanted it to do. 2.) It works funny. 3.) It cheats at solitaire and doesn’t even reward you with the traditional bouncing cards when you win, but asks which of three actions you would like to take while humiliating you with the statistics of your past wins and losses.

Peace, Doc

Copyright © 2009, Thomas A. Blood, Ph.D.

"It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry." - Joe Moore

Technorati tags: computer, repair, frustration, eccentric, Internet addiction

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New Blogging Danger Discovered!

A new warning may soon be issued by all laptop computer manufacturers and the moguls of the recliner chair industry. We are already warned of the perils of using plastic bags as toys, not using the computer in the bathtub or near water, and the possibilities of the chair tipping over if one stands on it, or relaxes too hard or too quickly. I have discovered yet another legitimate cause for concern and shall report it to anyone who will attend to my natterings.

The basic danger stems from the design of the recliner chair itself. In order for the footrest action of the chair to work properly, a mechanical system of thin, moveable steel bars and pivot points is required. When the back of the chair is pushed toward a reclining position, the footrest rises into position to support the user's legs. The reverse action occurs when the occupant desires to sit upright or to arise from the chair. One might reasonably ask, "What's wrong with that? That's what it's supposed to do."

I will, of course, tell you. You don't believe I'd get this far into a perfectly good rant without complaining about something specific, do you? The danger arises when the laptop computer and the collapsing action of the chair required for the user to arise happen concurrently. I dislike resorting to the use of hyperbole or fear-mongering, but I must state that the scissor-like action of the mechanism attached to the footrest presents a real and present danger to those of us who use a laptop, with power supply and Cat-5 Ethernet cables attached, while seated and blogging in blissful ignorance.

Very recently, while arising quickly from the chair, I discovered the more personal and real-world meaning of the phrase "scissor-like action," when used in this context. The wires pass close to the footrest mechanism, and in this case, became entangled in it. ... The power cord was repaired easily enough with a soldering pencil and some heat-shrink tubing. It was quite a cleanly sheared cut, actually. The Cat-5 Ethernet cable, however, required replacement. Uh-huh. I did that.

Peace, Doc

Copyright © 2008, Thomas A. Blood, Ph.D.

"Stupid is as stupid does." - Forrest Gump

NanoScan and TotalScan

There are a few good, free, web based applications out there amidst all the crapware. I used Panda Software's computer-based anti-virus program for a year some while back and found it to be satisfactory. Not perfect, but good. That was at a time when many of the viruses, trojans, and worms were coming from the area of the world in which Panda Software is located. My assumption at the time was that they would therefore be the first AV company to encounter many of the new threats "in the wild" and the first to develop new countermeasures. It seemed to be a good assumption. The only drawbacks I encountered at that time were a somewhat unappealing user interface and a very aggressive advertising program. Panda was one of the "other good commercial AV programs" to which I referred in a previous post on free AV protection.

When I evaluate a program for my own use I quickly head in the opposite direction from AV and other security programs that immediately do a scan, find 1,284 possible infections on my computer, and warn me of the grave consequences of not purchasing their software or services immediately. When I found and tried Panda's nanoscan online scan it quickly had a look at my computer after I allowed it to install an ActiveX application. It reported that it found no viruses and that my other security programs were up to date. Hmm. Could it be true?

After one has scanned their computer with nanoscan, a pitch is made for totalscan. It is stated that this version can be used in either “brief” (about five minutes) or “full” (about an hour) modes. One has to sign up with an email address and a password for the free totalscan. I did so and allowed another ActiveX to run. This action started the download of a short program that literally took almost three hours to complete on a dial-up Internet connection. When this process was completed, totalscan found 10 cookies that I knew were present and showed a large red button labeled "disinfect." I hopefully pressed it. The next screen informed me that I must be a member of totalscanPRO for anything to actually happen. Technically, Panda delivered exactly what was promised, a scan. I am so freaking gullible that I must be a relative of Wily Coyote.

The purchase page even insisted that I was from the UK and wanted payment in pounds. I'm afraid I cannot recommend nanoscam, totalscam, or totalscamPRO. Some might want to take a look at Panda's relatively non-technical descriptions of crimeware, hoaxes, rootkits, and the like. Otherwise, it did nothing that the previously listed freeware did not do except leave me with junk to clean out of the computer and two or three hours of subvocal swearing which I must attend to. Despite my current displeasure, I would still state that Panda's programs and services are probably in the class of "other satisfactory commercial security software." I'm glad I used a throwaway e-mail address, though.

Peace, Doc

Copyright © 2007, Thomas A. Blood, Ph.D.

"Dammit!" - Doc